I'm going to finance blowing up the moon - because that is a better thing.

Ah, the magic of eating at a restaurant owned by a Manic Pixie Dream Doofus. I imagine the place will be a dollar store full of knock-off dancing Groots by this time next year.

The Zuckerbergs poked me in a sexual way at Mark's secret base in the Himalayas.

Facebook follows me in real life.

The last bit is from The Simpsons, but if we want to play a round of highhand, I don't follow anyone on Twitter.

Jaden has too many thetans (or is it too few?) to go to high school, stupid mortal. He is the mighty oak that is an acorn that is a lobster stuffed with tacos.

I had to stop somewhere after the two minute mark, as I saw no "real niggas" nor any "thick bitches." On here.

Seriously. I'm "huge" BBW fan, but she's missing a "B."

Counterpoint: no

Maybe you should stop being "the exception" and put that childishness to bed.

They really are a bunch murderous, superstitious hillbillies.

File under: Badass

A(nother) terrible beauty is born.

Something about "weak states," "patronage," "fealty." Sorry, I'm tired this evening.

Yeah. But you have to say that.

It looks exactly like the comic, other than the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is being played by Sam Jackson and his henchman with "blades" for legs is now a woman.

I was not an honest mistake.

I imagine you hate Lincoln for "The War of Northern Aggression" and FDR for being a commie, but what the fuck do you have against Hamilton?

I was going to post this, dammit!