Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

HOLY SHIT DUDE I JUST GOT TICKETS TO THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE PREMIERE WANNA GO?

Seriously, who's not hoping that next August we hear a story about the night JJ Watt took on a wolverine?

"It's really minimalistic," Watt said. "The only thing I have to focus on is training and that's the way I like it. There's no frills, there's nothing to distract you up here."

Meanwhile, Packer fans are still waiting for Mike McCarthy's balls to show up.

The 1929 stock market watched the end of the game and was like, "Now that was a fucking collapse."

I have it on good authority from a source that the reason he didn't fly to New England is because at the airport, every time the TSA agent tried to pat him down he fell down to the ground backwards.

"Less editorializing, more straight reporting"

At least he is FINALLY entertaining!!!!

May this be a sign of things to come for his career. Please.

It was only a matter of time before the signs of hip dysplagia began to emerge.

Tough break for the Lions, losing Suh for the entirety of the playoffs.

"When you play with heart! It's supposed to hurt! You just kick the ball!"

These bears are neither cool nor good.

Rece truly is a Holtz Whisperer.

Mike Judge wrote his lines.

To be fair, this makes more sense than everything else he says.

I'm sure it involved an insane ninja battle no one got to see.