+1 Der flurgen blergen, jurgen vergen sturgeon

Of course a newt doesn’t want the swamp to be drained.

I mean, if this poor guy wants to put himself through 4 hours of freezing cold agony watching the Eagles, why not let him?

BOOOOOOO

Didn’t Iverson once shout at a ref loud enough to have a foul rescinded? It might not have been a technical but I’m pretty sure I recall this happening.

Congrats on getting me to laugh during the middle of an important work call.

Think you might have meant Carl Winslow here, champ.

Can’t forget that Bo actually had 3 heart attacks and Urban faked one of his own.

As an Eagles “fan,” I’d like to add that the former clause in that sentence is completely foreign to me. I suffer a painful and hilariously agonizing existence because of them, so at this point I hope they do the same.

I assure you they don’t care if they’re single either.

Oh, man.

We do realize that should Trump choose to resign upon becoming president (because he might hate this shit,) the existential threat of President Mike Pence becomes a real Thing? That is abjectly terrifying. More so than it already is.

I have a white Mike Quick jersey and I stand by my decision. If I do get another one it’ll be Chuck Bednarik or some other dipshit who played back when the Eagles weren’t consistently tripping over their own dicks.

I never thought holding hands with your sister would be anathema to someone like Russell Wilson, but I guess I’m wrong about a lot of things.

Free Tomsula lifehack:

Was it an acrostic? I thought maybe it was all hexadecimal or something else but I ended up just drawing dicks in my notebook.

Is this shitfucker wearing a Steelers jersey (whether it’s Santonio or Kordell I really don’t care but either would be intriguing for its own reasons) after playing the bulk of his career with the Phillies?

It will never cease to amuse me how much we clamor for socialism and point to Scandinavian countries as the gold standard despite the fact that it is open only to their own citizens, a path to citizenship essentially does not exist, and the nationalism and xenophobia in those nations is second to none. So how this…

I agree up to the Trump bit; a Cubs-Indians World Series means the end of days, but it won’t lead to a Trump victory. That sort of thing begets something cosmic in nature leading to the Rapture, so I’m fully expecting a meteor twice the size that wiped out the dinosaurs to land somewhere in western Ohio, between…