Same place I meet my men/women... Barnes and noble, or equivalent. Just pick an aisle you like, look for something cute, and say hi. Never backfired yet.

That baby would melt a man's face with her first word...

Kung fu hustle! One of Stephen Chow's best works. Highly recommend you watch it.

Well, if you feel threatened in your car, home, or place of business in Texas... Shoot to kill. Remember what happened to Rachel Jeantel.

For serious though. I keep making excited noises when I see that goddamn minisub. Or, really, ANYTHING ELSE FROM THIS FUCKING GAME AH GOD (froth)

I'm not even sure if I got trolled, I've MET people like that. Grown ass men.

If not frothing.

The proud American patriot, everybody. In a fucking nutshell.

MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRS!

What, you mean when you're a poon? Grow up. If you can't handle criticism, if you can't handle disagreement, then you should just go sit down and shut up.

The truth is never mean.

When really, it's just pest control. Hell, I gave that one kid supplies! OK, so it was a massive dose of jet, but still. Now he can catch and kill food! Other children even!

Well, yeah dude. We kinda suck balls. Like, hardcore. Or do you not, you know... Hear people talk. Or watch TV. Or read comment sections. Basically, grow up, you poontang. America won't burst into flame if somebody criticizes it. True patriotism is admitting when your country has a problem.

You know, I'm a pretty liberal guy... And I oppose the death penalty on pragmatic and ethical grounds. But whenever I read a story like this, this angry voice in my head that rises up whenever there's injustice roars "KILL! KILL! KILL!". Maybe I just need more spandex.

But, speaking as an american, there is a cultural baseline.

You're the one focusing on pit bulls here. You're the one generalizing about an entire breed. You're the one who's being a goddamned idiot. You know what? Fuck it. Pit bulls are the canine spawn of a black and hoary god, and will gladly eat toddlers for sexual fulfillment. Happy now? If you'll excuse me, I'm going to…

To which I reply bullshit, respectfully. You know what type of dog bites the most? Golden retrievers. I shit you not. Now, do they do as much damage as pits? Admittedly, no, but they do bite the shit out of people. Pit bulls are not inherently dangerous, anymore than a gun, or a knife, or a toilet. It's not the breed.…

Ma'am, I'm sorry your aunt got attacked, and please do not take my words to mean pit bulls are all ickle wickle precious gifts from Sikh God, but they're not any more dangerous than any other breed if raised right and treated well. I used to volunteer in an animal shelter, where I met dozens of pits, and not one ever…

You know why people get fucked up by pitbulls? Because we constantly tell everyone how dangerous they are, causing the person to become apprehensive. The dog picks up on this and gets nervous too. The second reason is we don't teach kids how to respond to being bitten. If you try to pull away from a gripping dog like…

I've spent real money on a phone game once. It was to buy the zombie plague in plague inc (awesome game BTW.) I think the second time I'm ever going to spend money on a phone game is to buy the mind controlling neurax worm. That's it. That's all you fuckers are getting from me. 4 bucks.