Indeed:

He even did it to LSU years after the fact, getting them in trouble with that stupid fucking stunt handing out cash on the field after the 2019 title game.

To bring back the Raylan Givens quote: if you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into them all day, you’re the asshole.

Ever since I first saw her in Underworld, my goth dweeb of a youth absolutely adored Kate Beckinsale. That adoration has only grown over the years.

Sometimes being lucky is more important than good!

Agreed. Literally the only gymnastics event I can watch without fear is the pommel horse.

 Mmmmmmmm baken

This sounds like Taken but with a pig.

That’s fair enough. I mostly just wanted to dunk on Tyler Perry, if we’re being honest.

Always a supporter of Black love. It will be 25 years for the Mrs. and myself on 7/27. Yes, she is an amazing person. Yes she is a fantastic role model to our 23 year old girls and 17 years old son. Yes I love her more now than I ever thought I could at 26 when we married. No I have never deserved her but I always try…

Those overwhelmingly white male tears are pretty tasty. But you're going to need to work on writing a better paragraph if you want to break into the literary world. 

But he’s 6'5" and there’s two of him...and he likes to eat people!

He can’t even do bald right. Even if you were to accept that his face or body is somehow sexy, what’s left of his hair looks like shit. 

Poor sad turtle has no one to play with...

Bet Ted Cruz would love to have you come over for soup and to show you his fingernail collection.

Cross-fit enthusiasts by and large deserve every bit of hate they get, but it seems truly disproportionate to inflict Marjorie Taylor Greene on them. Perhaps it would be more fair to banish her to a white separatist camp, a police union or the inner circle of a homeowners association.

I want the ridiculous amount of cash she would have blown on a one day “my wedding registry is at the US mint” extravaganza.

for like $1.67 I’d do dirty stuff ... sweeten that with some old ketchup packets and a Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon and I’d be your bodyguard taking a bullet for you.  I’m cheeeeeeeeeeap

My adductors shriveled in astonishment and horror.  I can’t wait to show this to every male I know to see them scream.