youre a bitch. i bet some poor, nice fucking girls in axo are freaking the fuck out during their FIRST WEEK OF CLASSES because your article now reigned hell on their sorority. i bet theyre having to deal with their nationals and will be getting shit on as a chapter for the next two fucking years. honestly fuck you.

He's just afraid that the truth will come out:

As a celibate rabbit, I am sick with rage that my life experiences are being negated like this.

The defense says everyone made mistakes that night, even that victim.

I had that book! I thought I was being sneaky by looking at it. Little did I know it was a plant.

You mean hopeful.

We can be stupid together, because I thought the same thing. And for that I am sorry.

I thought this headline meant that the original video was actually Funny or Die and I was v. confused. Also, I'm a little stupid.

One day, I decided I was going to attend one of her soccer games. My father, who I must stress did not stop me despite knowing my intent, drove me to the game and dropped me off. I hopped out of the car, clarinet case in tow, and walked to the field, full of the kind of confidence that can only come from sheer…

My worst story is having to pick girls up in university in my mom's pickle green dodge caravan that was handed down to me. Each time I would carefully craft an elaborate excuse for why I had this van, usually amounting to "I'm in between vehicles right now".

I don't know, imagining a loose acquaintance showing up to a work presentation and blasting a fight song on the clarinet is unsettling.

The moral of the story? Over-the-top gestures done to be "romantic" generally just make the girl feel put on the spot and weirded out.

And what do you DO to contain your hair anyway? She shouldn't have to, but even if I think about how one tries to do that, I don't see many options in the immediate moment. Does he think people's hair grows bigger in an effort to be rude, and all they have to do is say 'Be flatter, hair," and it will have less volume?

"No joke, she switched schools within a month. The next time I saw her, I was 14. She remembered who I was and ran away again."

What did you do to her?

Too late for official submission, but it needs to be released into the universe. Let it go. As the songs says.

Senior year of HS, final semester, and me, coming off a pretty nasty breakup with my girlfriend of 18 months. Of course, in high school, 18 months of dating is like being fucking married, and I was pretty…

Yeah. The use of "hot" in that case was really creeping me out

With you buddy. I also hate Alanis Morisette and love boobs.

But isn't that ironic? Don'tcha think?

For the record, you should never do stuff like this for someone you aren't currently dating. So: not for crushes, not for exes you're trying to win back, and not for people you've just started dating either.

Otherwise it just sorta screams "I'm creepily obsessed with you and have no sense of personal boundaries."

Guys, if the crush happened in 5th grade or below, she was the prettiest or cutest girl, not the hottest. We don't see hotness until puberty, this is science.