Oh wow! And you reversed it and turned it back on me! That showed me, internet white knight!

Never mind that! Have you seen how fat Jonah Hill's got again? It's like he's wearing a Kirstie Alley skinsuit now! And he's padded out the flapping parts with injection-moulded cream cheese!

But you live in Toiletseat, ND.

Zippo the Comical Pinhead's in this? Good for her. She was so funny in 'Les Miserables'. Not as funny as Russell 'The Warbling Wattle' Crowe, but, still.

Kaling is the slinky, super-double jointed gymnast. It's all about body-positive imagery, you see. Lot of CGI work, of course, I mean a lot. And Rihanna is the wisecracking, confidence trickstering, older Jewish shyster-type. Because she's concerned she's getting typecast. And Bonham-Carter will be a bastshit crazy…

Hey, we never tried to remake 'The Women' with Jonah Hill and Andrew Garfield and, for the urban demographic, Aziz Anseri, did we?

Melissa McCarthy as Joe McCarthy.

"She is self-noted for her extensive satire and comical appeal in her music."

Funny if the villain were a man. And he killed them all because of their propensity to keep hugging each other, tumble over their high heels and cry over barrels of ice cream. A young Ernest Borgnine or a Lee Marvin.

And I'm gonna tell you something. Take your vapid, small town virtue signalling out of my thread because you don't get to tell people what we can and can't find funny. Ya nut.

That aubergine is ready for a farmer's market. In fact, it might be even a little too ripe.

You know who we should get to star in that? Somebody with insta-teen appeal and today coolth! Will somebody.

"And, if he is the latter, is the show then trivializing mental illness?"

I get what you're trying to do but, like so many Americans, so very provincial, you are ignorant of the world beyond your borders and so you do not realise you've just achieved the opposite of your intention. I am so sorry.

Just pretend they're dwarves. Anytime the script says: 'Rich guest rapes woman' or 'Shut your mouth, woman' just sub the word 'Dwarf!" and, bish-bosh, your precious snowlflakiness is ameloriated. Unless you're dwarfy.

Good.

Futureworld, from years ago, was pretty good too. Blythe Danner is always excellent.

It is actually a sophisticated point and, though you are in deep denial, it's self-evidently true. I'm sorry.

His point - and it was a lot more sophisticated than you made out, was that the reason there was no romance was only because the studio was frightened of having a white girl make out with a black boy. I have to say, I noticed that when the film came out eight months ago but everyone was saying 'This film is such a…

Jesus. I hope you're never on any jury trying me.