All the Mormons I know make the most sex jokes. The “uptight Christian” exists, make no mistake, but your average Christian is pretty much the same as everyone else when it comes to giggling about peepees.

I only played THUG.

Yeah, it makes it look like a river of lube or something.

Shit I can barely tell the difference between the two versions shown in the article, even in the video. Like, sure, the barrels are slightly rounder and the wood is woodier. But if they weren’t meticulously spelled out in front of me I couldn’t see it.

Why not use the movie actor likenesses? I find it hard to believe Marvel/Disney didn’t sign those actors in to a contract that would include video games or at digital imagery.

I kind of agree. I was thinking the other day that the Switch is kind of the perfect form-factor for a console. I really hope they don’t make some new crazy Nintendo thing for the next generation.

Corporate suits literally don’t understand the idea of a person with unlimited power not being a corrupt fuckhead like them. It’s completely alien (no pun intended) to their worldview. 

That looks like Damien to me. The hood and the design is very Damien.

Just like the show.

Exactly. The idea that government regulation is preferable is a pretty shitty take. The pearl-clutching in the ‘90s would have made video games above a PG rating illegal if the ESA hadn’t been a solid compromise.

Honestly, I’d prefer if brands just shut up about social issues. They’re disingenuous anyway. EA would come out with a tweet supporting gay conversion therapy if a demographics expert told them 60% of EA consumers love praying away the gay.

Something I learned about five years after high school, and continue to believe in now 20+ years from high school: some people never really leave. Their maturity stalls there and they’re completely fine with it. 

I’ll never understand the “want a virgin” thing. That’s like wanting the chef at your restaurant to be cooking their first meal. No thanks.

Agreed, ESPECIALLY if its the kind of game where you get to customize your character. Why in God’s name would I want to tweak the angle of their eyebrows and constantly fiddle with their wardrobe to make the best possible look if I literally never see the character. Like, what’s the point?

As a console and PC game for life, I have to say my greatest disappoints are all PC games and dealing with PC-game bullshit.

I like FF6. I’d even go so far as to call it great. But it’s status as “obviously the best FF you plebes” is a little overexposed. It’s good. It’s top five without argument. 

Agreed. It was fine. The demand only exists because people can’t have it. If they released it tomorrow people would play it for 15 minutes and then turn it off, realizing that the desire for the unattainable is a greater joy than the joy of possession. 

Yeah but “floating in a light cloud two inches from your head” is not the same as “firing your germs out of one hole like a laser onto other people.” The valves are definitely bad.

I agree. Some things just kinda look like a vagina or a dick from basic shape, but that is clearly modeled after an actual gaping vagina. You know, if it was covered with giant salmon roe and tentacles.

My wife just laughs every time I’m playing a game and it has tiny-ass text. She’s like “how the hell is anyone supposed to read that?”