Just reading your comment made me almost have an anxiety attack. I hate seeing unread / unlistened bubbles.
yobert
yobert
So glad this was helpful. I thought I might have come off too strong... I too have had many conversations with my husband about needing to be proactive in the last two years. Emotional labor, mental load, I never heard these terms before I had a kid, but I spent a lot of time reading about it while nursing and it…
I am glad to hear you have a plan and that your partner is hearing you.
Fed is best. I read that somewhere and I think it sums it up.
Now’s a good time for the Emotional Labor metathread https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0UUYL6kaNeBTDBRbkJkeUtabEk/view?pref=2&pli=1
How is this article helpful when she wants to continue breastfeeding?
Man, fuck him, pumping doesn’t make shit easier on you, it adds all the extra shit of both bottle feeding and the physical stress of pumping to your already overloaded self. And if you do switch over to bottles permanently, he’ll use you not minding being up with the baby overnight to nurse as an excuse not to help,…
No, poodletime, because there’s never a right way to protest. If you’re violent, it shows you’re not serious. If you’re nonviolent and respectful, it shows you’re unpatriotic. If you have a march, it shows you’re unconcerned with public sanitation. If the Women’s March had mopped the road behind them someone would…
I have to respond to this. Seriously, I just created a burner account.
I received zero help from my husband, we are divorced now, he was the definition of an arsehole.
The beginning is really hard. Breastfeeding is a physical act connected to your body and when a baby is still that young that’s pretty much all they want. So all mom all the time. A lot of women in my moms group comment on this exact conundrum. Unless your husband is actively being a dick about it, I will say in…
Any chance of convincing him that a regular appointment (harder to forget) thing like Daddy+Baby Sunrise Brunch on Saturday is a great idea? I backslide on things that aren’t in my regular schedule, but I am very good at the rhythm of my days/weeks.
IDK know if you’ll see this bc I’m grey, first time mom, I’m still breastfeeding and little monster is two years old.
I feel like I’ve gone (and now with another baby) going through something similar. My husband is well meaning but emotionally insensitive. My first had terrible colic and I didn’t have much support and I was also pushed to give bottles/formula to get a break even though I enjoyed breastfeeding. I ended up having…
As a guy, I really like having expectations and schedules set. If one partner isn’t living up to that, at least there can be a right and wrong. Otherwise, there’s just a lot of resentment that gets built up and internalized and everyone goes on thinking they’re in the right. If this makes sense, it’s easier to know…
I can relate. My husband does bottle feed (breast milk) to our 2 month old when not working but he sleeps like a rock and never gets up to soothe him in the night and just lets him cry when I’m in the shower and stuff. And when he’s on duty to watch he just holds the little guy or let’s him sit in his bouncer, never…
My husband and I had some similar problems in the first few months (daughter is almost 1 year old now), and I was breastfeeding exclusively and on maternity leave. I think he found it hard to find his place with our daughter, because if she was cranky the boob would always soothe her, so I had an easy fix and he felt…
I breastfed for 15 months. We both work full time. I hope things get better for you, whatever you decide, and that your husband steps up. But even if he does, be prepared to still want to strangle him for a while. My husband was fully supportive and very helpful, honestly did more than his fair share and still does.…
A strategy that really seems to help with Dads who don’t seem to get it is the following: Even though you hate to pump, do it interstitially over the period of a week or so, until you build up enough bottled milk to carry the baby for one whole day and one whole night. One weekend, prepare to decamp to a hotel or…