For real. The one where he wets his pants would be better!

“WWTF” got 590 “The Sports Massacre.” Sounds about right.

Give her a break. She cannot fucking write the show and perform it at the same time.

Rape is worse?

Is Niantic perhaps acquiring the Pokevision team?

Too clever. “Roger Baddell” is the lower hanging fruit.

Would be an oral presentation.

If you told me right now that to save the Earth humans had to live off of processed crickets and grubs... but they would take the form of and taste exactly like Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese... I would be fine with that.

I believe that two negatives are better than one negative, so you can’t tell me this doesn’t not check out.

I believe that Barry’s takes are the best and hottest of takes.

[rereads article with snark detector on max]

...do you?

You know who the DNC should get up on that stage? Leslie Knope. That’d be sweet.

After chopping a goddamn poblano pepper my upper lip burned for an hour.

“Now, Bob Costas... and the story one Brazilian man who lifted all the toilets in Rio... and replaced them with shiny new ones... just in time for the Olympics.”

C’maaaaaaan, dude grew up in Kansas. He likes Jayhawks basketball. There’s absolutely nothing to see here.

All of them unnamed.

“What’s that about your whole body hurting all the time? You’re fine. No, you can’t see your medical record. Okay. Summer. Have fun.”

Tom — What’s the reason we’re not seeing a young player in Seattle or Denver sue either the NFL or the NFLPA over this shit?

Would they have standing to challenge a CBA that was negotiated before they were in the NFL, before laws allowing marijuana use were passed in Washington and Colorado?

I get why other owners…

And that search-for-truth and any conversation should be framed around the indisputable fact that this woman is covered in bruises.