The marbles, now this, and against everything I’ve ever been taught the takeaway is... always bet on red?

Really. The amount of time it takes to take a selfie is what’s wasting your time? Not the little old lady who counts the number of every district before yours in the book? Or the guy who reads you every word straight from the manual about how to scan your ballot? Or, look, if we’re being honest, the entirety of my…

Yeah, but you have to take it a government-licensed Selfie Booth.

The Spanish mix red wine with Coke — calimocho — and that shit’s delicious. The Argentines do Fernet with Coke — and I don’t know if there’s a name for that but it’s also good if, you know, you already like Fernet.

To be fair, the pic doesn’t take nearly as long as figuring out whether the triple-negative wording means you support or reject the initiative to disallow Proposition Whatever.

I met my now-wife when she was the sole remaining family member alive to help her own father into early stages of this disease. It was humbling, devastating, draining, often horrible, and so rarely redeeming.

You may also remove the codpiece upon safely reaching first base — but removal is strictly governed by The Unwritten Rules: under no circumstances are you to flip your codpiece or gyrate suggestively while removing it.

Offseasons, Ranked:

My wife, while pregnant, would sob during a Cheerios commercial.

Was going to criticize this post for abruptly ending in the middle of what seemed like a larger, more promising story... but, right.

“Fuck this! If we have to be ‘Washington,’ then Haslem has to use ‘Cleveland.’”

Ha — the long answer seems like a lot of effort for a conversation in the greys.

162 Days of Cardinal Baseball?

So rude!

Thanks, but I’ve been here long enough to spot a tone-deaf rape joke when I see one.

Not funny.

If you’re a freelancer (and you are, because America no longer has any full-time jobs)

I picked Red No. 3.

A spokesman for Deal said ...“It simply levels the playing field with other states that also have strong athletic programs like Georgia.” This is not true.

Hmm, if this is true, shouldn’t the title be: