@Dashiell Bennett: Don't worry, the Michigan State edition will be coming out eventually. A-B determined that Bud Light is too expensive for MSU's base though, so you're getting green plastic 40s of King Cobra instead.

Why'd they arrest the guy? If they really wanted to punish him they'd give him O's tickets for the rest of the season and make him show up to watch every game. With no alcohol.

Favre's the wishy-washiest player in memory — and the Vikings are his enablers.

Nice job knocking down the walls of the fourth estate on this one.

Fuck the heck? Bring on the food metaphors!

@Tony Reali's Winning Smile: Actually, it was of Dennis Haskins. The thief: a rascally blond haired gentleman with a gigantic phone and a rather ridiculous looking sweater.

Laurence Maroney suggests you use official baby wipes Pampers Baby Wipes along with Charmin to wash u ass.

The 13 percent of you voting no on Charles are turrible people.

@Steve U: Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad frown on your shenanigans.

@sir_pantsalot: South Africans speak English. We can just pretend they're Canada or Jamaica.

Asked why they axed the project, Pascal mysteriously said "We're not selling jeans here."

@Moobs: Why didn't he just burn the money? At least then he could have gotten some mild entertainment value out of the money.

Threadjack: I am shocked — SHOCKED, I tell you — to find out that Sammy Sosa tested positive for PEDs in 2003.

@ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos: Don't worry though — Jimmy Roberts will be there with "American Auto Company US Open Moments" or some schlocky crap like that.

@metalmaniac: Blossom was built as the summer home of the Cleveland Symphony. It's great for that. It's terrible for anything else if you're sitting on the lawn.

@JosephFinn: I don't know about both. Even my Cub fan friends think 'Go Cubs Go' is rather lame. A Dying Cub Fans Last Request is one of the all-time great sports songs though.

@BruschisBrewsky: I think the White Guy Grinder is meats and cheeses served between two large crackers.

@Yinka Double Dare: Dammit, strike doesn't work? Well that kinda ruins that.

@J-Animal: Base-stealer. Contact Hitter. White Guy Grinder.