Come on, the Marbury and Houston contracts were way more toxic than asbestos.

It was definitely a good idea to avoid a confrontation with Alan Branch.

(delete double)

@Hit Bull Win Steak: That's insane! If only there were a word for just how insane that is...

@Same Sad Echo: Couldn't be, that guy wouldn't have the balls to email Deadspin, since he doesn't have the balls to do much of anything.

Sorry AJ, but I thought El Turdo was already taken by Drew when writing for Deadspin Deportes.

@Blue387: Sorry Rick Sanchez, we will not.

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: Better than having him write another post on here.

@DirkToberFest: Everyone, say hello to Tucker Max.

God, imagine how much the writers would love him if he had played football (and by that I mean punted at Nebraska, or kicked field goals).

I hope you guys have taken your Consistenyl (TM) today.

Diaz Man

I suggest the Canadians contact the WGA — the World Canadian Bureau.

@EddieSuttons SouthernComfort: They're no better than the white collar thieves because I'm pretty sure in some cases they are one and the same.

@Gottliebs Cards: Well, now that they've annexed Hiney Hole Island for the Deadspin Empire, they do need to populate it.

Her comment was the stupidest thing to come out of her mouth since Michael Phelps' dick.

Still my favorite:

Get away from me, Carl Monday!

@coldfuzion: I do notice a difference. The can is better. Newcastle uses the worst possible glass in their bottle — clear glass. It screws up the flavor. I've had the beer at the source, and the can tastes like the beer is supposed to every time. The bottle is a total crapshoot.

Obviously Jay was just trying to get all of us to talk about him, thereby making him more famous.