Sooooooo... What’s the unrepeatable, personal smear against Ivanka and Jared that Marlow told the Brietbart troll and CNN won’t say?

I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD HAVE WASHED THE CAR

My neighbor saw me outside during the eclipse and told me he thought it was at night.

What business person starts any project WITHOUT A FREAKING CONTRACT!

I know a person who tweets 40 times a day — just literally words pouring out of her phone. At first I thought she did it because she didn’t have a smartphone and this was her way of texting her spouse, but then she got a smartphone and didn’t stop. Mostly it’s her views on politics (yawn) but sometimes it’s “I just…

We get “Did you know 60,000 Syrian refugees have been approved to move to our town?!?” and “5000 homeless people have moved here from San Francisco!!!” Some people treat NextDoor like it’s their batshit Facebook page.

It looks like she pretends to twist buttons while sticking her right hip out

Any of those cats are more qualified to be President

Just before the election last year, I was really looking forward to being able to ignore Trump as I had for the vast majority of my life. Like, never having to see his bloviating orange melon ever again.

He was a Bernie Bro, bro

I look forward to your story arc on “90 Day Fiancé”

His defense will be “road rage.”

UPDATE: I received this email today from Amazon:

I pestered AbcoDirect to see if they were actually safe — I finally got an email that said “if you’re not comfortable using them, you can return them” which was NOT MY FREAKING QUESTION! Anyhow, Amazon refunded my money before I got the email from ScamcoDirect, and today (8/12/17) I got an email from Amazon stating:

This reminds me of my favorite David Bowie story. He was traveling to New York aboard the QE2 with some longtime friends at the height of Ziggy Stardust. So of course he wandered about the ship in all manner of sparkly space jumpsuits and also decided to shave his eyebrows.

A 20-year-old parking ticket isn’t a time-barred debt? That sucks.

It looks like a blast, but I couldn’t do it for 45 minutes. I’d like to have my spin cycle at one side and a megaformer on the other and switch it up every few minutes.

He’s also illiterate.

Didn’t she work at Mama’s Royal Cafe?

Whenever I see him in his Whitman beard I hear “Ashokan Farewell” in my head....