Nic would never hurt me. The gun is just for show.

is nic cage standing behind you holding you a gunpoint while your typing these?

But the whole point of clothes is to look good on bodies?

Isn’t the true end goal to sell clothes? If you’re putting on a runway show with art pieces never meant to be worn by anyone but the people modeling them, sure ok, use all size zeros if you want. But if you want to showcase your clothing designs with the intent of getting non-model people to buy them, wouldn’t it…

Meh - usually their cats “dispose” of the bodies so no big

I just burst out laughing at my desk. Well done (LIKE THIS ENTIRE STEAK I’M SHOVING IN MY FACE).

Paraphrasing here but, as Chris Rock explained, “all a relationship is is eating and fucking. If you don’t like eating with somebody and you don’t like fuckin em- than ya’ll don’t need to be together. All you do is talk eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you eat and you fuck and you go to your momma’s house…

For what a Greek study is worth today. (sorry)

Married old fat person checking in to say yup. Ironically, cooking at home has plumped me up more and more because I’m just eating more. He, however, the bastard mutant camel person, doesn’t put on more than a pound or two.

IN YOUR FACE, MARRIEDS! Oh wait, you already have a turkey leg in there...

BAHAHAHAHAHA SUCK IT FAT MARRIED PEOPLE*

so i know how closely our DNA resembles primates but it legit freaks me out how much the faces/expressions they make look like human faces/expressions

What the fuck is happening.

Can’t you just watch hockey like every other mayonnaise blooded Canadian?

Damn, Jezebel writers killing it with the prose lately: ‘who looks like the result of a shameful one night stand between a Brooks Brothers suit and a copy of Atlas Shrugged’. Yes.

o.o! My ex bf is currently ghosting me....we were together over 2 years (3 years in Sept)...he didn’t care?!

My (ex-, obviously)boyfriend of almost 6 years did this to me as a breakup method. After a few months I assumed the relationship was over, and he came crawling back as soon as I had a new guy. He was so delusional that he seriously thought I would take him back after all that. LOL NOPE.

What?? No, it is way harder to be ghosted than to do the ghosting. The ghoster is in control of the scenario; the ghostee is in the ghoster’s (metaphoric) hands, running around wondering what the hell they did wrong when really the fault is that the ghoster does not know how to communicate clearly with someone or take…

The angriest bottom: a fable