In post-Soviet internet, communist spies expose YOU!

“Gosh, thanks! They’re not mine. See, I stole them from this woman, well really she was dead, it was like a corpse bride thing? And there was this curse, yada yada yada - tl;dr, appreesh the compliment!”

That is fucking beautiful.

Once in high school we were eating dinner and I got up to get seconds. My grandma said “I hope your boyfriend like chubbies.”

Fucking Keith, man.

Ugh. Keith.

WHAT.

I can just about guarantee that this guy was practicing negging ‘cause some self-proclaimed PUA told him to. The persistence kinda points in that direction as well.

Well I appreciate it.

...that wasn’t on the set of Mad Men or something

THANKS KEITH needs a gif with a sarcastic-looking junior high girl.

This is the kind of situation where the kicksss me who lives in my head and is always witty and on top of it would just stare at him and say, “I’m sorry, did you just basically tell me you’d like to fuck your grandmother?” And since this is all in my head, I would then stare at him while I take a drag off my cigarette…

Why would anyone give a stranger your number?! Be better, friends!

My boyfriend at the time and I were up at his family cottage. He was doing dishes after a meal, and since he never helped out around the apartment we shared I play-flirted by saying “ooh i like this look on you!”

THANKS KEITH

I was in eighth grade and mister king of junior high says to me “I know who you are you’re like the most popular girl of all the like unpopular people.”

“I love homely girls. You remind me of my grandma. But you’re kinda sexy, can I have your number?”

“But I’m offering you such a great salary... for a girl.”

(At the office) “As far as women go, you know your stuff pretty well. I hope you asked for a salary that outranks the other women lateral to your position.” Not the other men, mind you, just the other women lateral to me. I may or may not have kicked this guy in the nuts.