Does this mean that character creation is gone?
Because I don’t want to play as Gritty White Male Protagonist #789.

Pretty sure they’re actually the same person.

It’s the aggregation of small details: the ironic 70s porn cues: the short sleeves, the facial hair, the revealing crotch lines, the cowlicked hair, the very stupid glasses, the much more stupid expression and pose — the whole styling is the problem, not the white shirt and pants in themselves. If you like this look,…

I thought they were doppelgangers? Aren’t they?

Who do I call if I’ve spotted a suspicious package in an American Apparel store?

Does anyone know if American Apparel even makes clothes anymore?

a siderection, if you will

Either there’s a weird object in his pocket or he’s got a tragic, uncurable case of sideways erection.

People who wear glasses like these are assholes. I’m looking at you terry richardson.

It’s time for these settlements to come out of the cops’ pension funds. Watch how fast the “good cops” police their own.

Don’t resist arrest! If you just let them arrest you for nothing, they won’t have any reason to arrest you for resisting? Wait...what? Arrestception...

But remember, you’re always supposed to go to the police if you’re raped or abused and all will be well.

Yeah, I would have turned around at rusty saws on the wall. Unless it was a restaurant catering to lumberjacks, saws in restaurants can never be good.

It’s time to bring up the Chinese restaurant again:

Man, it was the saddest, most cringeworthy thing I could imagine. That girl must’ve felt like she was losing her mind.

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

Worse. Way worse.

The story about the cancer-free anniversary “date” is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read. That’s some Ralph Wiggum/Lisa Simpson shit right there.