Do you really think drug addicts are capable of taking birth control pills and using condoms? You're adorable, child.

There is no way this could fall!

Not really. I don't dress nicely to attract dudes other than my husband, and my husband doesn't really care how I dress anyway. But my friends notice. Other girls usually notice.

I doubt it. The law doesn't punish addicted sperm donors.

Good thing condoms have never been known to fail, right? Your solution is FOOLPROOF.

Bayer, the manufacturer of imidacloprid, rejects the findings, saying it doesn't provide a "causal link" between the chemical and the decline in birds.

Wow, really? I had no idea they were that far apart.

I dunno, Angelina and Billy Bob were both pretty weird at the time. A pair of oddly-matched weirdos, if you will.

NEVER CHANGE. You are a glorious unicorn of Christian rejection and I adore your no-fucks-giving responses. Please inhabit my brain for a bit so I can be witty like you.

Yeah, I think "heavily-armed" and "handguns" are usually not the same thing unless at least 5 handguns are involved.

Well if you want to read meaningless tripe and see Disney princesses in every possible permutation, perhaps you should visit Buzzfeed.

Unless you're Lindsey Lohan. That woman has been given about 10 more chances than she's earned.

I'm struggling with that as well. I'm not thrilled with the idea of babies (although I'm kind of excited for having actual kid-aged children) and now that my husband and I have been married for a year I'm kind of concerned that I'm still not warming up to the idea a ton. I hate hearing about how babies are…

You make an excellent point about not all tattoos having to have OMG SUPERDEEPMEANING. The things I thought were deep and meaningful even 4 years ago seem silly to me now. On the other hand, beautiful designs, plants that I adore (I'm a horticulturist) - those never get old. If I ever stop loving plants, I've got…

I'm jealous that you have a quick wit with which to reply to the haters. I'm not particularly witty, so comments about my tattoos usually get a "Well I like them so...." *shifty eyes*.

A muffin is just a sad, naked cupcake with nothing to live for.

Aren't you a doll.

Mr.Infinium feels too awkward for extramarital banging also, but we've only been together for 6 years and have plenty of time to explore that someday.

The whole thing is absurd. Our fixation with him because he's attractive is embarrassing.