Wait, does Amy Schumer have a music career as well now?

Ick.

A family friend is a session drummer and sometimes touring drummer in Nashville. He is very good and works with a few A-list country singers but I definitely wouldn’t classify him in the top thousand. Consummate professional + happy go lucky = successful career. The best drummer nobody has ever heard of that I’ve…

CELLO! Let’s say that 20 of the top 100 cellists in the world are working in American orchestras. Like, not being a fancy touring soloist or being European, just like clocking in every day at the SF Symphony. Principal cellists can pull down $100K and them bitches is unionized! No trying to get gigs or bouncing…

In other news, I think his comment put me into a coma, I apologize for responding what I assume is 3 years after the initial publication date.

(I’m getting Kinja’d on the picture I’m trying to respond with. It’s a doozie.)

Years ago while out drinking one night in Hollywood, I saw a flyer taped to a lampost. It said, “Bassist needed for commercial rock band. Your chops don’t impress us, your attitude and personality must.” I don’t know why this stuck with me, but it has.

I mean, I get it. Guy also works for gq and writes fuckin novels cuz he thinks he’s Hunter S. Thompson or some shit and he’s got a family. So we should cut him some slack....but I completely agree, Tuesday’s are funbag days goddamnit.

If money is the deciding factor, I’d take 50th best cello player over guitar any day. The 1000th best guitarist might be doing some paid gigs outside his day job at Best Buy. The cellist is easily making six figures a year playing for a major symphony.

Jared from Subway.

Agreed. Relative to a man’s experience I find dating incredibly easy. Relationships, absolutely not. It frustrated me when I was younger but I’m past the age where I need one. I love my freedom, and my 2 careers keep me busy 7 days a week. But if I wanted to be in a relationship, I’d be frustrated right now.…

I don’t recall Dylan Roof having any tattoos...but that’s about it.

Hmm... solid entry. I’d agree, he probably doesn’t have one either. I mean I’m not upset if we find recent ones, this thing already has gotten way more legs than I thought it would, so let’s keep it rolling!

Yeabut, any more than three shakes and you’re just playin’ with it.

Haven’t you heard that you’re supposed to shake it a few times?

Complications of a cool breeze.. What a great phrase. This might be the title of the smooth jazz album I’ll release in another life...

I think his biggest regret is letting Cheney run the show. I honestly believe in his heart of hearts W is a good person. I believe he let people tell him Cheney was good, and knew better, and it’s couched in those comments about power.

I am no fan of Dubya, but I will say that it is possible he has gained some insight in the 9 years since he left office. I don’t want to give him too much credit or make it seem like I’m defending his actions as president, but I will say that hindsight is powerful, and it’s possible that he has some regrets about how…

I get the impression that he knows that he fucked up a bunch.

When you’re not in the office for 8 years, it gives you amazing opportunity for weird retrospective.

I’m following all of it, because I am an old.