Imagine you truly are the 1000th best guitarist in the world, but cannot write songs or sing for shit. And you are a 23 year old good looking man, could you just go to LA, New York, Nashville, or yeah London or Scandinavia, and heavily showcase yourself as “super awesome guitarist who is willing to join a band with…

I really think that you have to be an Australian Aborigine to be considered the undisputed #1. Honestly, I think I might youtube a DD competition so I can see some differences. I am totally ignorant, but I think it is really hard to differentiate between great and profiecent DD players. Kind of like being an MLB…

If a 45 year old white guy is suddenly even the #400 basketball player in the world (still NBA quality), I would think people would entertain the idea of satanic involvement.

I think that if you are a top 10 accordion player, you can make a sizable income. You might have to move to Europe to maximize that. However, I wonder if people will question your credibility. If you’re American and from Wisconsin, you might get away with it. But if you’re from Hawaii? The European accordion community…

I don’t mean the first Lala Land producer, I mean the guy who made a little speech and ended it by saying, “BTW we lost, Moonlight won Best Picture.” I thought that was a pretty lame thing to do. However, that is an exceptionally unique and awkward position to be in, so how can I really judge how a person should…

I’m saying that fantasy baseball is a greater dealbreaker than model trains. I mean, if I made a bet with my buddies that I could go to a bar and get a girl’s number while still mentioning some lameass hobby, I would rather be sadled with model trains than fantasy baseball. I guess the deal would have to be “say at…

Yeah, but the best thing about being the best is the feeling of accomplishment. Being the best didgeree doo player would feel so hollow if it wasn’t earned. Also, I think it is a very difficult instrument to play, but once you become proficient, most people would not be able to tell the difference between the best and…

And the producer who made a speech despite knowing he was not a rightful winner is a douchebag, little shit, or fuckboy, according to whatever style guide you follow.

Still, if I had to maintain a woman’s interest, I think I could squeeze more out of model trains than fantasy baseball. Unless she is also into that, which is unlikely. I love baseball, but have zero interest in discussing fantasy baseball.

Yeah, good point. I was also thinking about taking the accordion choice for similar reasons. Also, how do you determine “1000th greatest guitarist”? Is it technical skill? My guitar playing friend says he is better than George Harrison ever was. Technical precision, maybe, yeah, I guess. But would that include…

Fuckboy is more vulgar so it would presumably be used with more discretion. For example, I really doubt anyone would ask if it is ok to call a 12 year old a “fuckboy.” On the other hand, we all seem to agree that 12 is old enough to be a “little shit,” but perhaps not a douchebag.

I would love to “win” the batchelorette. But I think that the question is about being a contestant, not the judge. So, if you win the batchelorette, you’re not necessarily playing the fied since it would be me competing against 24 other guys for one hot woman. If I “win” I would presumably be approving to my new…

Yeah, I was thinking earlier today, “There is no excuse for Magary not to post a funbag every Tuesday.” I know it’s silly to get upset over it, but do you agree? Sometimes there is no funbag on a Tuesday, which I think is bs, he should have some on standby in case he can’t make a new one.

Nick Mason, the drummer for Pink Floyd, is often seen as the luckiest man in rock music. He seems to have a poor reputation, and on some later records was so out of practice, the drumming was handled by session musicians. And he didn’t sing or write songs. Van Halen probably had a higher quality and quantity of…

Hi. Reasonable or unreasonable: There is no excuse for Drew Magary to not run a Funbag every Tuesday.

It seems as if young men are really falling behind young women. This is obvious in high school graduation and college admission rates. Also, it seems as if every news article I read is written by a young woman. Young women just seem more driven and tenacious. There are a lot of reasons for this.

Hi, thanks for writing back.

Hi, thanks

Yes, thank you. However, I do think that women often do more work, or “emotional labor” in relationships. I do think that women have an easier time finding dates, as well as entering into relationships. I will never be surprised if a woman is married. After so many times of thinking, “Wow, she has a boyfriend?”…

I mean, if the customer says, “fair enough,” why is he giving a one star review? It is either “fair enough” or it is not!