I’m not putting the money on Ditka. Nobody passed out.

I only starred your comment because it was so fucking ridiculous.

And lo, I knew the Football Gods would be displeased by the Gluttons’ decision to boom a punt from within Lacedaemonian territory; thus it was that I chortled, neatly noted “game over” in my neat notebook, masturbated to the exposed skin of a cheerleader one-third my age, and masturbated again to my column from last…

Jesus Christ! If I was Harbaugh I would spend the next 3 days in a brothel with hookers and blo...wait....never mind