are you extremely dumb?

FL is where you have the terrible combo of old retirees and young people growing up in a place catering to old retirees and little else (“why should I fund schools? I don’t have kids anymore!” is common there) beyond tourism concerns (my hometown hosted Girls Gone Wild spring break movies for years). Also the south is…

It’s hot as balls in Florida, and it is my personal theory that the heat fries your brain. I’m from Mississippi, and people were always shit crazy in the summer.

This is fucking fantastic.

If Tagg is unable to pull it off by himself, he can form Romney Son Voltron with Bort, Cleb, Phlerk, and Mittens, Jr.

A boat’s a boat, but a mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat!

As a Lions fan in therapy for life the Patriots are my outlet. In my defense I needed a reason to root for a team in the other conference and I started when Brady was drafted not when they started winning.

At least it wasn’t one of those copper bracelets that was supposed to give you superhuman balance, take away your headaches, knock out the gout, give your cancer the what-for, stabilize your aura, bring about world peace, bring about the Second Coming, give you HD across all your channels even tho you’ve only got…

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the…

I have this theory that the Transformers franchise was Spielberg’s secret attempt to sabotage Michael Bay’s career. Bear with me here:

I especially like the ellipsis ,.,

But... but... he just wants to “get out of here”, drive out to the desert and bury all his jewelry! He’s not materialistic at all! Just look at his eyeliner!

His mind’s so far gone he probably thinks he’s actually a pirate and that the fifth Pirates film was him plundering to pay off his debts.

Why is there a toad sitting next to Louie CK?

Only one actor can successfully inhabit the role of Linda Tripp — no need for a long, drawn out search. Even if they cast someone else, this is the only person I will see on screen...

I remember the time I came out of college and had to go to Milwaukee to pursue a job in advertising because an agency there had the #4 pick, and I had to sign a 4-year contract with a pre-determined salary, and I wasn’t allowed to move to another agency even though my creative director was dumb as shit.

This is it. We are officially living in a full-blown Idiocracy. I give it 2 years until we start trying to water our crops with Gatorade.

A neighbor, father of kids a couple of years older than me, was a teacher.