yermomdotcom
yourmomdotcom
yermomdotcom

Seriously. I think in layman’s terms it’s “swingy-uppy,” but I’ll have to check on that.

I usually fly Southwest, which sucks, but has open seating. I’ve had pretty good success with scoring an empty seat or even a row by going all the way to the back, snagging an aisle seat, and pretending to be asleep. I like to hang out into the aisle a little so people can see me from as far forward as possible.

With

I’ve had a nap in the back of my Focus ST a few times. Quite a few owners don’t know that the rear seat bottoms can fold forward and then the seat backs make a completely flat surface folded down instead of an angled one. (RTFM) Lying down on a diagonal or curled up a bit, I fit just fine.

Still, a tent would be sweet.

I like it when users of a car enthusiasts’ website take the opportunity to voice their political opinions irrelevantly.

Looks like I’ll be changing my vote!

When I had my 1955 Chevy, the locks were about as secure as President Skroob’s luggage. After the first time I locked my key inside and had to break in, I kept a copy in my wallet since it was the size of something your kid locks her diary with. It was annoying having to jimmy the lock with a lamp shade frame I found

I can dim and turn mine off with a knob on the overhead console, but I don’t know if the F150 can do that. I mean, I like a little rice, so putting them on is kind of feeding my 12 year old self with some “Hey! That’s cool!” Cars should make you feel that way sometimes I think.

And, yeah, they’re set to purple.

I’m certain they would be appalled at the cup holder in my Focus ST. It’s got freaking mood lighting in it.

My Focus ST has a cool little shelf for the manual and assorted documents to get them out of the way. I’ve got a pen, a little notepad, a tire pressure gauge, a phone charger, and some other things I suppose. I can’t even remember the last time I opened it.

I said that they notice me, not that they’re staring at me. It’s a fleeting thought like, “Huh that idiot left his lights on.” I seriously doubt it’s dangerous in any way and fail to see how it’s much different than oddly shaped DRLs distracting others.

Derpy floopy dopey doo happy herpy Haribo!

I think that’s how the commercial goes.

Seriously, though, the last bag I bought survived about 12 hours. This one might make it to the next day. I have no shame.

Derpy floopy dopey doo happy herpy Haribo!

I think that’s how the commercial goes.

Seriously, though, the last bag I

Well, owning a car greatly increases my odds of being injured or killed by a traffic accident. It’s about responsibility in using an object, not the object itself. I can wipe out myself and plenty of others with my car (not a Mustang, by the way) if I choose to, but I use it as properly as I can.

Keeping a loaded,

I doubt cops are hanging out in the median without radar guns searching frantically for deployed active aero as a reason to pull people over.

I have automatic lights and DRLs on my Focus ST, but I run my headlights all the time. People probably think I’m an idiot during the day, but they’ve noticed me looking like an idiot, so they’re aware of my presence.

It’s pretty convenient since even in “ON” the headlights shut off automatically after 30 seconds when

I have the touchscreen on my Focus ST.

Oh, want to listen to a song on your USB drive? Hit Entertainment, Source, scroll down, USB, Browse, Music, Artist, scroll down to the artist, click the album you want, scroll to the song.

Yeah, I think pretty much everyone who is even remotely into cars knows that The Spirit of Ecstasy has been retractable since 2003. Evans surely knew that.

I’ve always felt that Top Gear requires a certain suspension of disbelief. That film could have been shot over multiple nights, he probably got there hours or even the day before if it was so important, they conveniently had a camera at the wrong gate...

But who knows, maybe they actually pulled it off. I love that

A friend of mine from school lost left arm by getting T-boned while it was hanging out the window.

I know it’s super unlikely to happen to me, but I’ve always kept all my appendages in the car at all times after that happened. Plus, damn super high door sills; it just doesn’t look cool to hang your arm out anymore.

My 2003 Lincoln Town Car beater my dad sold to me for $5000. It was the perfect compliment to my weekend 1955 Chevy hot rod, which was kind of a chore to drive every day even though I did it for four years. Ahh, A/C and something other than AM radio!

On the Lincoln, I had the mufflers chopped off, the resonators cut