The Art of Bore

I would assume the premium to insure your $250 million investment in a non-NFL professional football league would be something around . . . $250 million. This is similar to the conversation I had to have with my wife when she considered taking out a life insurance policy on her ancient dad to help support her mom…

Nice to see Francesca still involved with FAN.

I’m thinking of the level of self-loathing I hit at 30 looking back at myself at 20 and then again from 40 at 30 and someone should let the guys at Caltech know to recalibrate their seismographs in time. Heck, by the age of 60 Bauer may even start writing shitty poetry.

No offense, but you forgot “no offense” idiot.

No one could: they used Instant Pots, duh.

Well, if you’re just barely a billionaire it’s more than chump change. And if your investment lasts 3 weeks before folding anyway, it’s not so much an investment as a sand mandala.

It’s just how her optic nerves work.

He probably has a book of Thomas Nast cartoons in the crapper at home.

This is all great advice. The NYT app is a good way to get started— make sure to use the intro because it teaches a lot of small things that I wish someone had told me. It’s stuff that seems obvious now but is not, e.g., answers are always in the same tense and plurality as the clue.

Did you get paroled?

We sprayed me with so much Flowering Herbs body spray in an attempt to cover it up

I’m still unconvinced anyone’s does.

Also a Pornhub category.

Strangely, a Leitch field is where I find myself. #2019

being part of the continental elite affords you many chances to be a raging asshole with few consequences

Photos are verboten where we are going, mein freund.

Someone get me out of the greys and I will go dig up John Birch’s corpse.

Holy shit, I think I spoke something into existence. Maybe God reads Deadspin.

“Reds are the best team in MLB, ethnically speaking.”
- Marge Schott