my attempt at a quiet laugh sounds like a tiny ongoing pig squeal

That was aDORable.

penis jokes on penis jokes

Speaking as a dork, I can confirm that this is an excellent song to play air guitar to. Yes, my wife is a lucky woman.

Should just be the Peter Dinklage song in IMAX:

I accidentally bought my daughter a My Little Pony toy microphone that plays this song:

Super cute until 3 days later, when mom removes the batteries in order to preserve her sanity.

Until you got to the part about Indiana, I was certain we were from the same town. This is a thing that happened in my hometown in northeast TN as well. So fucked up. SO fucked up. I live in a major city now and I'm. Never. Going. Back. I love my parents but they can't grasp why I won't come home. The white, cis,…

I think she loved the idea of her child, and who she thought her child should be, but not the reality of who she was. It's sadly common, not just parent to kid but in all sorts of relationships. I refuse to write most people off as evil, though there are of course exceptions. I try to understand people, even the worst…

It's really difficult not to hate this woman. I grew up in this kind of smug, judgmental, repressed religious environment. People thought they were so nice and generous when they condescended to hate the sin, etc., but the stifling of individuality, of independence, of sexuality of any kind was just so fucking stupid.…

I gave my daughter an extra big hug today and told her I don't care about who she comes home with or as as long as she's happy and safe and loved.

The only way I would do a running regime is if a tiny baby rhino would chase me. Get on that Planet Fitness!

Any human being deserves respect. To make an unassuming bystander the butt of her tweet for supposed defects of appearance is just beyond cruel and narcissistic. I hope someone calls her out on that.

the degree of goonishness shown in that jenny slate tweet is mindboggling.

This smacks of the sort of devilish thing a 3rd or 4th grade me would have written. And my precocious self would have printed and punctuated it just as neatly. I call legitimate!

"Hey, can you be a shill for media sensationalism, instead of discussing the creative work you just poured yourself into?"

"Because I can" is a perfectly good reason