This has me rather stymied. I’ve always casually liked Gomez, without giving it any real thought; she seems blandly nice, and of course she’s very pretty, if childlike in appearance. And I like her often-boho fashion sense.

I feel like Jen probably knows where all of Ben’s skeletons are buried. If she wanted to, she could bury him. Of course he’s going to only say nice things about her. He knows she could destroy him.

Because people with face tattoos are all insane?

dethroned

Maybe someone should explain stranger danger to the people at OK magazine and maybe the child was crying because some fucking weirdo was following him and his family around taking pictures of him.

She would slam it shut, and throw it open, so there was noise and a hole on the wall from the knob.

My father removed my sister’s bedroom door when she was a kid because she kept slamming it. But she put up a sheet and when we wanted to come in we’d stand on the other side and say “knock-knock”

Oddly, what really bugs me about this is the typo on the dinner menu. “lemon sole, haricot vert,” Why the extra comma? Did this entree originally include something else? Potatoes? Risotto? Quinoa pilaf sourced from the Andes and harvested by Peruvian virgins?

Ok...I mean....sometimes certain traits are just not your fault and you do what you can with what you got. But this.....did no one ever offer another alternative to greasy finger bangs? Did no one say, ‘hey man maybe throwing it back to a crew/90's bowlcut mash-up is not a great idea’ ??

She looks like that Jersey reality girl. Shazbot? Snazzy? Sniffles? IDFK I’m old and I may just be naming dwarves.

He probably told her she couldn’t get pregnant if they did it from behind, and she was like “win-win” re not having to look at the bangs.

Honestly I’ve spent three comments too many thinking about Henry Cavill but have just learned that His Royal Highness Prince Ranier the third of Monaco attended the same public (in the British sense, the very opposite of “public”) school as him so LOL, pipe down Cavill.

I would have thought those bangs would have been a 100% effective form of birth control. Guess Bristol proved me wrong.

Bristol Palin’s baby daddy has the bangs of my 7th grade crush. Does he also skateboard and steal Marlboro reds from his father?

She didn’t know him; still banged him. Interesting.

I also have a kid I'm willing to sell. He's almost two, pretty cute, doesn't listen very well, very independent. Likes vegetables and chocolate milk. Taking offers.

True but that’s why you need a laptop in your car so it can warn you when you’re about to fry the piston rings...

That’s one hell(cat) of a typo.