Wow, I actually felt my vagina slam shut and try to permanently seal itself off

IT WAS TYGA IN THE PAWNSHOP WITH THE CANDLESTICK

My ex whispered a story to me about someone leaving behind a coat at the restaurant where he worked. His coworkers discovered weed in the pocket and they all smoked it. He “whispered” this story in the backseat while my parents were driving and the radio was off. AND he got mad when I told him later he shouldn’t tell…

I’d tell you what I’d be moving up from the store brand mustard.

“My wife is looking out for her own interests for once! I kind of supportthat, I guess! Cookie now, please!”

It’s so frustrating whenever these clueless dads think they deserve a medal for acting like, you know, a parent.

What a bummer for that dude who has to watch his kids. This is on par with parents who say they are “babysitting”.

Lol, except to read and comment on articles about her ;)

For some reason, she really used to irritate me. Like 10 years ago, or whenever she first burst on the scene. I don’t know why.

Wow, I....I was so wrong.

That was my first reaction too, but apparently they’re all 28-33. Hollywood is so weird and has broken our brains.

I think they’re showing how it all falls apart without women??

I totally appreciate the men writers taking over for International Women’s Day. This said, it seems to me to be odd that on International Women’s Day, on a feminist website, there are a spate of articles about what it is like to be a man, or a ‘mail ally’, or a gossip column (well-intended) that leaves all of the…

THANK YOU. I had 4 miscarriages before my current pregnancy and when I would express worry for this baby people liked to respond by telling me the worst thing I could do was let myself be stressed but, hello, that is not really within my control. Like yes, obviously I’m trying to stay calm and relaxed, but I don’t…

My husband is a hairy, ethnically Italian bastard so it’s likely this little guy will already look the part! Halloween = solved.

It was just really funny too because in the last few months I’ve been at 3 different beer festivals, a new years eve party where people were doing blow and fucking in the bathroom, seen 2 foul mouthed stand up comics live, binged Making a Murderer, and watched at least 3 Tarantino movies, but sitting in the living…

My acupuncturist texted me when she was in a seminar, and said: “I paid to take this class. I just learned that if you want a healthy, happy baby, do not employ midgets or look at monkeys. Would love to hear the story behind those superstitions.”

There’s a scene on the CBS show Criminal Minds in which JJ, a pregnant FBI profiler, halts a conversation about a killer to put headphones over her pregnant belly.

Well, he’ll definitely be a werewolf now. A+ parenting. ;)

The one I found most amusing was being told not to look at the eclipse back in September. Did it anyway, I’ll find out in a few weeks if I messed him up.