I live in England, so I should be immune, but there are still a couple of things he says that make me giddy with childish delight. Loo roll is definitely one of them.

NO. STOP IT, OH MY GOD. I am so, so glad (once again) that I live alone.

I had a dog that ate all the magnetic letters I had on the fridge except for JK HOE. I found it insulting.

That might actually be the dumbest name for a restaurant I've ever heard. Places with names like "Best Chinese" (I've seen this before) are actually kind of adorable. This is just lame.

Aioli is mayo with garlic or some other type of seasoning. (I just learned that two days ago.)

I will deal with it by dry-heaving relentlessly.

I don't eat Mayo. I have OCD. Mayo causes me to sieze up and puke. Your sauce likely has mayo or ranch or something else I do not eat. I cannot eat a dry burger and I love me some ketchup. Growing up in Chicagoland, where putting ketchup on a hotdog is a sin against humanity, I went against the grain and LOVED me…

Yep, and all the people who say "well just ignore it!" Um, hello - this is what happens when you do.

Whoo hooo!!!!!

You don't even have to send it to his mom, just show him you could. Although tbh I am all for a new craze of mom-shaming these guys into acting right.

I would have started spamming him with images of literal assholes.

I am definitely ordering all of the fruit pies in front of this cool guy

Because "lonely geek wank-room" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Why limit to desks?

Shared this with a friend from across the country who actually works at a comics shop and also happens to be black, and has many amusing stories about casual nerd racism. He had a pretty good comment I'm going to paraphrase here.

Him: "Okay, so if my shop had a room that everyone called 'dead nigger storage', think…

First Amendment only applies to state action. Creating a sexually hostile work environment is against the law.

Mark's penis-washing choir:

You are preaching to the penis-washing choir here.

Wait, you don't just do it every day? I thought we were supposed to do it every day.