It’s been repeated by more than one person: This whole peeing sitting down is trickier when you have large thighs. I don’t understand why this is so mysterious. My penis is pretty average, I just have muscular thighs and on top of that fat.

“That was sick! I’m never washing this hair again!”

He looks more like a Kyle to me.

As a non-Pats fan, let me just say: fuck ALL of you Pats fans.

The 49ers are incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful punter.

Wakeboarding =/= waterskiing. But otherwise, yes. I was waiting to see someone doing this, like how someone skis behind a jeep every big snowstorm in Boston or NYC.

The only thing she’s ever blown is a 28-3 lead.

O’Doyle rules!

Can we stop using the price of an individual share of a company’s stock as a reference for anything? It’s completely meaningless, and using it as a metric for comparison shows a tremendous amount of ignorance and makes any other point you try to establish extremely questionable.

“Over $1MM invested in this build, worth $20MM+, we know what we have, no lowballers or Palestinians. Bring a trailer.”

The Germans at Juno Beach

“Looks good to me!”

Me too. Totally. And don’t even get me started about pants that can’t accommodate my huge cock.

Exhibit C

This is the tweet equivalent of driving your carefully crafted public image into a fire hydrant then a tree.

You should visit my world then.

there’s a guy outside who says he needs to be in here

Went looking for a 1995 Volvo 850. Found this insanity. Extra insanity points for live driver!