Thank to Jezebel, occasionally some of my thoughts are in gif form. “The worst” and “I don’t know her” being the two most common.

I want Gene Simmons breakfast. Right now. For the mouth part of my face.

OTOH, he seems to be doing exceptionally well as an adult with microcephaly.

It is my hope that I will have a similar attitude towards my marriages.

I MINORED IN REASONING AT DEVRY

Is she this person????

Yiiiiikes. Oh, Michelle Pugh, never give interviews to the press about heartbreak when you are not the most famous one/most sympathetic party and especially when the incident was too recent for you to have perspective and not sound like a lunatic (see: Kim Gordon’s memoir).

Bonus points for calling them gauchos instead of culottes.

Part of me is saying “Hope Solo is an asshole and we should retreat to minimum safe distance” and then I’m like, “wait a minute, for once a woman has a job because she’s the best at it despite being an asshole, which has been SOP for dudes since 75,000 BC.” Ben Rothlisberger, for instance, still has a job with very…

For the record, I would totally do Chip. He has that 10/10 dad bod.

I can summarize pretty much every episode of Fixer Upper:

I also find myself watching Fixer Upper and I like some stuff Joanna does, and surprisingly the shiplap doesn’t really bother me.

With the guy who makes all her tables. Calling it now.

#SHIPLAPGHAZI

Mindy Kaling should have identified him as Farooq “Freddie Mercury” Bulsara.

It’s not often the WA crazies get national attention, there are so many crazier states. So congrats Susan Hutchison!

As someone who has had the misfortune of working with Susan Hutchison, I can't say I'm surprised by her behavior. Batshit crazy is her default mode of being.

Except he overplayed his hand. He made some powerful enemies tonight. They'll now drop all the hooker stories they've been holding on to.

This was Cruz’s opening salvo for his 2020 run.

He was then booed off the stage by the same people who, in a different time and place, killed Jesus.