So at this place, everything tastes like ham?

I have neither the time nor the inclination to provide history lessons. If that's all you think of the man, you're either racist or not knowledgeable enough to comment.

They got to where they're getting hard to find, mainly because these boys are waiting 'til they get to be about 20 years old before they marry 'em. Look, you wait 'til they get to be 20 years old the only picking that's going to take place is your pocket. You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16.

All Amber's saying in that tweet is, "Don't judge me. The foundation of both your success and mine lies in sex work. Own it, because I have no problem doing so." It's the Kardashians who have always danced around and sought to distance themselves from the genesis of Kim's fame whereas Amber seems to have been more…

Calling Kim a whore wasn't necessary. Amber should have stuck with the #DontPanic tweet and quit while she was ahead. And for the record a 25 year old dating a 17 year old is gross, full stop.

Can we get Johnny Weir to cover the Westminster Dog Show?

I'm allergic to melons and I try to be really, really good about it. Like - I could eat a smallish piece of watermelon and just need to take some pills, but more than a small bite of cantaloupe and honeydew can make my day very not fun.

I wouldnt worry about it.

YOUR BABY WILL NEVER GROW UP BECAUSE IT DIED IN AN ACCIDENT AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE NATIONWIDE INSURANCE

Terrence Howard, is that you?

*sigh* First, I get it. Like, I feel you, I really do. I got my big ole Mid-Eastern nose when I was waaay younger, and it was an uphill battle during the years it took to grow into. I got the whole "terrorist/Ahmed/you-look-like-a-camel" works in high school, and by 13, I had promised myself that as soon as I could…

BEST KEEP THIS STUFF AWAY FROM ALL THOSE RAINBOW PARTIES IM HAVING

I used to feel weird about my feet and then I had a roommate with missing toes. She gave zero fucks, wore tons of polish, toe rings, and sandals. It cured my foot shame for real.

Much better suggestion. But then again I was born with big lips and have been told (by my white mother) that I am the envy of all white people for my lips, curly hair, and naturally tan skin color.* SO I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT AHAHAHAHA.

A quick, inexpensive alternative:

credit: http://www.cholafied.com/

The problem is when you break a nail really far down, below the quick, it hurts like a fucking asshole to let it continue to break. So you do this so that you can eventually just grow it out instead of having Bleedy McStubbs as a pointer finger for 2-3 weeks.

It does not look terrible. I painted it and it looks great now, so there.