Thank you both!

Two-parter:

Oh man. In my grade 7 yearbook photos, I am wearing silver lipstick.

You can't see my bad perm, but I had bangs too....and a choker necklace...and cartoon characters on my high waisted jeans.

Bangs. Perm. 1987, before I discovered Trent Reznor.

I had the good fortune of being the fat kid, and developing boobs early, and wanting to be a boy so bad that no bra plus bowl cut plus boys clothes made me a real winner.

I got my hair cut for the first time ever in high school (up until then you could still see my blonde baby hair at the ends). I had loose curls past my waist, but told the stylist I wanted to look like Madonna from the Like a Prayer video. I got this chunky triangle instead.

Parents, teach your daughters about shaving their legs before they try to teach themselves.

Like this?

A friend at work who I admired tons—she was soooo elegant and lovely in that way that seems effortless and natural, plus she was smart as hell—had hair similar in texture to mine, and we had similar complexions, too. So, I often cribbed her makeup tips. She also looked stunning with her chic short hair, while I had…

My mom and I had matching bowl cuts - I'm sorry, "The Wedge" - from kindergarten until I was allowed to grow my hair out in middle school.*

NOT THE POLISH WEEK I WAS LOOKING FOR ANNA!!!!

Every bit of your argument is complete and utter bullshit. If you're allergic to that many things, a restaurant is not a thing for you. But I'm guessing you're NOT allergic to that many things because let me tell you a tale, stranger friend:

it's not a penis or something, it's just avril.

You found a unicorn.

i had a cabbie in NYC bring me back my phone. i think he did it because i was a 15 year old girl with another 15 year old girl and a mom, and we were clearly not from nyc. but it was super kind of him and very sweet.

There are wonderful places to get out of the house to eat — parks, public gardens, beaches, river-front or lakefront walks, even their own back yards. We call these things "picnics."

Here are a few reasons why restaurants don't want people brown-bagging it:

FOR THE MOUTH PART OF YOUR FACE.

Constant vigilance. Always have a pair of unappealing sweatpants nearby to throw over your whore-slacks. It's the only way.