Jennifer Lopez's eye makeup reminds me of that time I dressed up as a mutant crime fighting possum for a superhero themed burlesque show. Not a performer bee tee dubs, just an enthusiast who will take any opportunity to dress up goofy. Anyway I won 3rd place in the costume contest. I was a hella cute possum girl. B)

Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm surprised this was the line Ilana wouldn't cross. I'm way more uptight than her and that's like a borderline fantasy of mine. I would definitely smash it with my clone.

I got called Beat Rice quite a bit and a lot of my teachers couldn't pronounce Beatrice for some reason and kept calling me Bernice for some reason. Nowadays the name just gets mispronounced to rhyme with Patrice, but I try to correct it quickly. I dunno which mistake annoys me more.

As a bearer of an old lady name (Beatrice, a step away from Bernice) I can confirm that elementary school was rough, but now I'm proud to have a classy unique name. I had some "fun" nicknames growing up though. :\

I have that in red and it made me feel so glamorous on my less than stellar bloatastic days.

Yeah, like "eyebrows on fleek/point" for really sharp well executed eyebrows. I dunno, I don't personally think "fleek" is necessary but language is all shifty and everchanging so I guess we just need to go along with it. Unless it disappears naturally, in which case WOO.

"On fleek" basically means "on point." Which I don't really get why we needed, but hey the youths gonna make up words regardless of what we olds think.

Nah, but I did paint my nails in honor of the The Dress.

Ugh I've been feeling emotional about this all day but this post might actually make me cry.

And Ilana's wearing the fucking stained "white power" jacket. God, I wanna hang out with this gang of fictional characters so much.

I too scream at my cat "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!"

Hooray for happy healthy older kitties!

Meanwhile my mom's cat who is two years younger than my girl went from kitten to grumpy old man SO FAST. He still has his cuddly moments but overall he's such a grumpy gus.

To love a cat is to agree to psychological warfare.

Cats are manipulative scheming little bastards. But so cute.

I try to follow a regimented feeding schedule with my cat but she screams at me so much I give her snacks just to shut her up. This is probably a bad sign for my future human-child parenting skills.

Right? I am experiencing such intense jealousy now. If only it were my boobs they were grabbing.

I can't help it, this is a cute story! I WOULD WATCH THE MOVIE!