Hey Weiner, get your kid some acting lessons in between seasons.

7 year old wants to get married? He's neither Jedi nor Sith. He's an idiot. (Rimshot)

And be sure to write the letter for her using your non-writing hand. I mean, come on, it's obvious.

I have never understood the Kimmel appeal. He has blackmail photos of certain people.

Letterman "on the street" segments beat anything I have ever seen on late night shows. Anything.

Everything he said is correct. What's the problem here?

…again

Can I get a fucking robot that looks like Gisele?

If Hammerhead ain't in this shit, I'm going to hunt Abrams down!

Well, might as well tear up that false expense report. Way to go. You're a real Eagle Scout, huh?

Watch out, they'll bitch about those old spaceships used as well. Who needs a spaceship when you have Snapchat?

Fuckin' Millenials

Beyonce not on the list? Not even her ass? WTF?

Sidebar by the Hyden 3000 on how rock began with Dawes.

True but I was still kinda like "wait, lady" when she was launching her attack.

Scratch Acid – Cannibal
DJ Shadow - What Does Your Soul Look Like
Spoon – Don’t Buy The Realistic
Charlie and Grandpa Joe – (I’ve Got A) Golden Ticket
Janelle Monae – Suite II Overture
Alice Cooper – Love The Dead
The Cult – Born To Be Wild
Dinosaur – Lose
Miracle Workers – Little Doll
Ghostface Killah – Jellyfish
Hall & Oates…

CGI some shit from "Designing Women" Duh.

Part of me hopes that HOV has a lot of his money tied up with a Madoff type.

Angela or Meredith or Ryan, is that you?

Jim with Amy Adams. She was like Glam Pam.