ironic!

ironic!

I can fill my drawers for free... With poop.

I can fill my drawers for free... With poop.

Huh... Melania's name is too close to "Melanin." Can someone do something with this information?

My rationale at the time is that I wasn’t *ahem* doing baby-making activities yet when she propositioned me, and though I had started in the interim, it was with protection!

Sort of a non-date nightmare. A girl I quite liked also liked me, but she resisted my (unreasonable?) suggestion that she break up with her boyfriend before I’d go on a date with her. 3 months later, I found out that some other jerk had gotten her pregnant, and I felt guilty, like if I’d just gone on that date, she…

How can you be so sure you're not?

I thought--okay, I hoped-- that you had just mad libsed that first paragraph together... Nope.

Dude, what other secrets is Jesse staying quiet about...?

Imagining that union while listening to this song... Brava, Katie.

Hey! I want to know why. Why aren’t white people angrier at other white people, and why aren’t we doing more about it?

More like Body Dismorphi-nah, amirite

Oh my God I’m an Old. I thought it said “Rob Lowe;” I was interested and clicked on it, and nope. Then, I thought it said “Jude Law;” I was interested and clicked on it, and nope. Old and inattentive. Or dementia-in-training?

Then would you mind cleaning the bathroom in the guestroom before our out-of-towners get here this afternoon?

I was an 8 hour road-trip for a few years while we were getting various degrees, but we eventually married, so now we only have to travel forward through time to do it.

OOhhhh it’s just Lawnmower Man 3

I’ve never been to a furry convention that hasn’t broadcast the entire show in a rented out theater... but then, I’ve never been to a furry convention.

I just came here for Zoobilee Zoo. You got it, so I can move on.

Ditto, but I think the best I get is being tolerated, never appreciated. Winky emoji.

I see your dad humor, and suggest that you are, indeed,

Are you, perchance, legally a blonde?