Maybe I should not have generalized, but certainly my wife's, and reported by other female friends...

How old is the snake in the Garden of Eden?

How many years do you think it’s been since she’s slept with George Conway?

Okay... This is none of my business, but from vicarious experience, vaginas do generally remain bigger/longer after vaginal birthing, so maybe save the biggest penises for after that (or save digits from exes/flings that were decent humans)?

That missing “, next.” is triggers the dormant OCD in all of us, Rebecca. But still less triggering than literally every other item in the news.

I remove you from the greys, because although I hate that show, it absolutely popped into my mind when I was trying to think of a country to reference. #caughtintheact

I did it and got my beachbody by Jake ©®™%°

#blacklungsmatter (I hate myself)

Cuz you lose iron and can have related anemia?

Let’s just remind our friends to (your) north that it’s pretty remarkable to have three (3!) movies about queens in theaters at the same time.

But, but, but... Aren’t Brits the original dry-humorists? I'm just finding ways to bring Lanthimos's new film up, since a) I'm Greek and b) it's divine.

I was trying to leave hints that I was joking and did a bad job. I regret nothing.

Looks like I nailed the joke! 

How sorry can she be? In real life, Abigail Masham was Laotian. #whitewashedtudors

Hey, does anyone here have any 🍿? 

Harumph.

Just subtle enough that the people that we don’t want to get it won’t get it :)

Winner no need to continue

But what kind of move is shitting on people’s dick? Is it a fun one? I ask because that’s what I accidentally read.

Lazy Sonic the hedgehog joke. Too tired to do more than that.