Sometimes you’re a little drunk, not quite ready for bed, and really want to close out your evening with a movie you can fast-forward through one half and yell at/with the other half. I’m glad someone is making movies with that not particularly niche market in mind.

My family and I are staying at a hotel for the night and ordered takeout from the only available kind of Chinese restaurant; that completely nondescript American Chinese. Technically it’s Cantonese, but bears as much resemblance to the food described here as a shivering, wheezing pug does to a wolf.

It’s a beautiful thing to have no emotional attachment to a franchise but still enjoy it. Despite weaning myself significantly from my investment in Star Wars, I’m still too wrapped up in it to be entirely chill about it. But this? If it sucks or if it’s awesome, either way I’m guaranteed one deeply satisfying fight…

There is no worthwhile narrative reason for this movie series to continue to be spun out, especially with the miss to hit ratio. But as long as it continues to be the only people-firing-rocket launchers-at-skull-faced-robots game in town, I’ll keep checking ‘em out.

The best thing about this comment is it’s as structurally lousy as it is thematically.

No need, since they’re already synonymous.

The production values and color palette all look great. I’d love if they had done something new in collaboration with Brian Froud than a prequel to a completed story, but whatchagonnado?

He fails in the all-important King I’d like to have a mead with litmus test.

I’ve been trying to think about what exactly makes their jokes so flabby and I think they’re trying to do anime in a comic format. The weird side tangents would possibly work if there was some kinetic momentum, but since it’s a static format, it just works to undercut the punchline. The punchlines aren’t ever that…

Yeah, not like the completely reasonable Marvel, DC, Star Wars, or Game of Thrones fandom we’re fortunate to have today.

I’d love to make the kinds of mistakes that allow me to wipe my ass with $20 bills the rest of my life.

Yeah, it’s an exhausting narrative if I’m at the point of defending a repressed Mormon’s sublimated sexual fantasy.

Sure, but that ignores all the really interesting constipated-looking roles he’s done since.

Christ. All these people who thinks he has cooties or something because he starred in a movie they never watched and wasn’t for them.

One Batman would pay for a dozen of those.

One Batman movie funds three French baby space travel movies.

1. Making a show of your religious beliefs and then preemptively inviting getting called out for them is cheesy, bottom-rung martyr bait.

Around the time Mr. Ratburn was creating elaborate Edgar Allen Poe interactive edutainment shows for his students on Halloween, it was obvious he really needed someone in his life.

Yeah, having a dagger slide right through his kidney really only seemed to slow him down momentarily. Not enough to get in the way of climbing up, then back down 500 stairs.

Fair point. Allow me to rephrase that: a redemption arc where he was able to remain alive and happy at the end.