Well, I guess you told me. Seeing as how I've never threatened anybody, I've never read Yahoo! Sports, I don't read USA Today, and I have no idea who Chris Chase is, you certainly put me in my place. Lastly, it seems that you spend a lot of time thinking about me and I don't think about you at all.

Let's just play one inning today.

Drew: Onto less somber sporting news, let's now turn it over to Jim, reporting live from Le Tour de France.

I feel like him having to keep checking his roster is an early warning sign.

Jason Whitlock only says this because he NEVER knows what goes on in an elevator since he's never been able to fit inside one.

Cowherd is an absolute tool, but I'm convinced a lot of it is just a shtick. On the Jason Collins, Michael Sam, the Boston Bombings, and now the Ray Rice thing - basically serious, human, non-sports issues, he actually comes across as a normal, common-sense type of guy.

That being said, I don't listen to ESPN Radio…

(no one wants to watch a video of a montage of hot takes from ESPN)

ESPN fire Steven A. Smith? AAHAHAHAHAHhhAHAHAHAHAHAH!

"Less tacky than a gnome" - what? That is the purpose of the gnomes and pink flamingos - Tacky! Beats the crap out of my neighbor's display of burned garbage, broken down pickup trucks, and the non-functional toilet. At least he finally moved that to the back yard.

This joke is a good joke.

In related news is he's now eligible for induction into the Kirby Puckett Hall of Fame.

You're right about the character clause, Barry. Here's the relevant section from the official Twins Hall of Fame Bylaws and Regulations:

To be fair, the humidifier was thrown 2 yards over her head.

Too bad he isn't a current NFL player, I'm sure this type of behavior would earn him a stern "talking to" by Roger Goodell.

"before throwing a humidifier at her"

In further news, Roger Goodell handed him a 2 game suspension.

Reports are surfacing that upon being arrested, Knoblauch threw a fit. Unfortunately, it hit an elderly woman in the third row.

How about, "Don't knock your wife unconscious", for starters?

This is technically the third prank. The second was convincing him that playing for the Padres is "getting called up to the big leagues."