Are you sure that’s what he said? I think you are wrong

Terrible joke doesn’t even begin to describe how awful those puns were. Mad props because awful puns are life but also fuck you

A living or a killing?

Non-competes have been illegal in California since the 19th century.

Clearly the devil, as they say, is in the details. Whether this bill is a sensible way to curb distracted driving or a massive and unjustified privacy invasion depends entirely on the specifics.

So, 2/10 would not bang?

Oh, Kobe’s retiring?

This list is fucking insane

This sounds suspiciously like the beginning of Too Many Cooks

They are clearly overvalued. As a class, executives are not worth what they're paid

Except they didn’t stand up to anything. They tried to circumvent the rules covertly, they were caught, they apologized, and they are being punished.

So, that's the Verne Lundquist call, almost verbatim, at the end there. Were they discussing it earlier or did he just feel like copying?

I guess golf is for guys who hate their wives

I feel like your argument overall is kind of tortured.

Holy shit a Deadspin ranking is opinion based? My world is shattered

For some reason, while this post consists entirely of sensible and readable thoughts, it is utterly incomprehensible to me. I have not the faintest clue what point is being made, despite having no trouble understanding any of the constituent sentences or words.

what

You forgot TV shows

Yeah, it’s not UConn’s responsibility to make their competitors better, but it is less interesting when the outcome is not in doubt.

Counterpoint: Griffey