Lovely story. However, the dogs are Labrador Retrievers and not Golden Retrievers. They are different breeds.

Buuut....how will I change my mind halfway through my adventure when it starts to go sour without the use of several well placed thumbs and fingers? TOO INDECISIVE FOR THIS.

I'm in Kansas too. And I need to get that bottle of wine back up plan in place!

Hell, I already finished my bottle of Merlot, buzz is gone, and I'm back to sitting on pins and needles. (Damn you Virginia and your stupid can't-buy-alcohol-after-midnight law! *shakes fist*)

If any of these things start happening to you, grab the man by the shirt, pull him an inch from your face and scream "YOU ARE GIVE ME BABY TONIGHT YES?" Then start to recite the "Twilight" script and stick your tongue up his nostril

100% guaranteed to fend off ANY man.

I think this is the same guy who said he goes to bars and waits for unattractive women to get drunk and sad enough to have sex with him. He relates his batting average as if that was an accomplishment and when I suggested he might have a problem therapy could address he became very defensive.

I don't date young guys who expect me to be their meal ticket. I wanted to pay for a guy's dinner, I would date guys my own age and get some decent conversation out of the deal.