Right? The story is “my little brother was an asshole, liked grape jelly, and now ants live in this copy of Zaxxon.” Nobody wants that story; they want to play Zaxxon.

Agreed. On my second (first was a black ‘08, then a ‘12 in dark blue), and while I obviously love the damn things, doing something as simple as throwing a mountain bike in the back requires finagling. Worth it for Dat Ass, Tho.

I think... And i could be wrong, but bear with me... i think she’s saying Pepsi are cowards for pulling the ad, because she is literally the only person on this planet who thought Kylie Jenner cured racism by offering Hot Cop some sugar water. Homegirl is a veritable galaxy of WTF.

I believe you mean roboeroticism.

And I’m guessing that’ll run longer without a rebuild than any of his actual Jeeps.

Friends... FRIENDS. Let us never forget the Polestar upgrade tune from Volvo. For the low sum of (at least) ONE THOUSAND AMERICAN DOLLARS, Volvo would add some additional ones and zeroes to your T5 engine to provide your turbo five with an additional 23 horsepower, bringing you from 227hp to 250hp. This engine upgrade…

Bingo. It’s a feature, not a bug.

Honestly, I think this one actually makes a little more sense than most - the bit this story leaves out is that Faraday Bicycles specifically makes electric motor assist bicycles (from what I understand, they’re fairly successful in that market, and while e-bikes aren’t my thing, Faraday’s are gorgeous). I can see…

Pfffft. Like that guy’s ever performed (or spelled) cunnilingus.

Gator wrestling.

“Camelback bottle” implies using your hands to drink, like a chump. Fuck THAT noise. BEHOLD THE M.U.L.E.

Next time, Gadget. Next time.

DESIRE.

Mightier, Trebek.

This guy gets it. Take THAT, people who aren’t financially savvy!

DON’T CAAAAAARE.

Thank you. This is the difference between “a busload of orphans and kittens fell into a ravine” and “an empty bus capable of carrying orphans and kittens fell into a ravine.”

I am now so old, and the world is so weird, that i cannot tell if that horrifying thing was parody or not.

And from the upcoming Spring collection...

This is the correct answer. Traded my ‘08 back in September for a ‘12 with a few more toys. I’m a little sad that by the time i need a third, examples with low miles will be bitch to find