Oh sir, just one antelope...it’s only wafer thin!

Mike Francesca, Trump, a middle-school doofus farting his way through an oral report on a book he forgot to read.  They all sound identical.

Trump: [attempts to read]

I also spent 9 hours at work today and walked away without an NFL contract but you don’t see me bragging about it.

Psh. I could’ve beat those dogs.

“A warmer winter meant the start of the race was moved north from Willow Lake to Fairbanks in search of snow, shifting the route largely out of the the Alaska Range, which probably made the going a little easier. It’s the second time in three years that the starting line was moved, but only the third time in the…

Where’s that clip of a “news” show where a guy claiming to be from Chicago starts talking about the violence in the city, but the correspondent just shoots back with “BRUH - BRUH - BRUH, You’re from Evanston!”

Please do NOT give us Young Morpheus

“The average person”? No. I wouldn’t bet on that horse.

Do it. Google Asian dongs vs American dongs. Tell me what you find.

Unless he does, and they retcon the entire RDR game as a dream inside a snowglobe.

Anyone who wants to make a noun/proper noun distinction here deserves to shovel Burnenko’s driveway in a perpetual blizzard.

What are you talking about?

Like 394 E before the 94 S junction in Minneapolis ?

He has Belichickian levels of press-conference joy

leaving the Joy-Con with a texture that find to them.

beep boop

They like to smash, bro.

Oh good, PFT commenters have found their way over here.

Hey Trump, shouldn’t you be golfing?