The new mumps are artisanal free-range organic mumps though.

I thought Al Kaline water was mostly bourbon.

the best part about the cleveland browns is we all eventually die

Dude, I don’t care what you say, it’s Brent Burns’ award running away. Yeah, he’s not you’re prototypical defenseman, but there’s no doubt he deserves it for the season he’s having.

Straw Woman: her very presence sends MRAs into a tizzy!

“Why should I pay taxes to support a fire department if I can afford sprinklers in my home? Why should I pay taxes to build roads when I telecommute? Why should I pay taxes to support public schools when I don’t have kids?” — The Self-Involved Man

“This is not the greatest healthcare plan in the world, it is simply a tribute.”

Answer: None of the above.

jesus christ, I don’t care if he’s your best friend you can’t just call him Nigghra

+1 billion hell points for linking to the “thoughts” of that indelible streak of butt rust.

When players of high character shoot, it’s to miss, so that they might give their teammates a chance at an offensive rebound.

Yeah but some commenter on earlier thread told me he scowls and shoots to score points. Dat ain’t no MVP.

In the sky in the background you can see a plane full of Cardinals piloted by Brian McCann flying in to curb-stomp him.

“President Trump is the son of Philanthropist...”

Coming this summer.

All over the country Sikhs were targeted for hate crimes and racial harassment after 9/11, because ignorant uneducated white people thought anyone wearing a turban must be a Muslim. You’d think some people would remember that. When xenophobia becomes rampant in society anyone with brown skin is targeted.

“Yeah, fuck it, we’re gonna play Simmons at the point. It’s the Process or whatever. If that doesn’t work, we’re gonna trade a bunch of stockpiled picks for Dwight Howard and try him out there. None of you fucking people care. It doesn’t matter. Basketball is an illusion you simple bastards.”

Why not? Can’t go worse than the Ben Carson rebound experiment.