Top Ten Answers:

“Telegram for Mr. Asswipe!”

“Some three dozen or so performers have done the same, and not all of them were renowned comedy performers when they gave it a shot. Sometimes it even worked. (Justin Timberlake gets all the pub, but Queen Latifah could come back anytime).”

Tone-deafness about its own persistent whiteness
— The AV Club

Small Japanese grill?

Jesus! Even more evidence of Russia meddling with our erections.

Unitarian...many Episcopal churches (Protestant sects it depends on the individual church itself)...um, Reformed Judaism?...annnnnnd...Flying Spaghetti Monster?

The last thing LaVar Ball needs is to be around more Suns that don’t play basketball well.

I felt the same way when I attended my first live F-Zero race. It looks way slower on the SNES than it does in person. Those fuckers are crazy.

This dumb dumb team. This goddamn Fyre Festival of a sports franchise.

Kristaps and Luka. This is the dream I didn’t know I had 6 months ago.

The timeout must have worked, as the Spurs went on a 132-117 run after stopping the Wizards’ momentum.

Really, 36 to his 49 is just ridiculous nonsense. McConaughey has specifically stated he prefers high school girls that stay the same age as he gets older.

Craig James killed 5 hookers while at SMU.  Did you know THAT?

JEROME BETTIS IS FROM DETROIT

The miserable change now at my end
Lament nor sorrow at; but please your thoughts
In YouTubing them with those my former highlight clips
Wherein I lived, the greatest prince o’ the world of Syracuse,
The noblest Nugget; and do now not basely die,
Not cowardly put off my headband to
My countryman,—a Rocket by a Rocket
Valiantl…

Fucking great. This will legitimize the MAGA lies that Chicago is full of black men who can’t stop shooting.

“Carmelo has stayed in tremendous shape throughout his career.”

When Melo meets Jabari for the first time: