Because people in Utah have such a difficult time meeting white people?

Kind of, yes. For one, Turkey isn’t in the EU and with the current political climate being as it is (not undeservedly and there is certainly a crisis going on in trying to deal with the flood of people already within EU borders) travel has been severely restricted to get into the EU and thus into the “promised land”.…

I...fully support a kid not getting an iPhone till after they’re 15

Christmas with the Gacy-Dahmers

Also, no animals, either living or dead. I’m disappointed. We need to collectively do better next year.

• CELL PHONE

Apparently, you haven’t been invited to the right parties.

I must be a lousy hostess, because I’d hire a clown before I’d resort to the chair leg.

Marshmallow stuck in the throat is actually not very uncommon. Generally stems from idiots playing chubby bunny.

“ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

“Wants to have removed” SHOULD go without saying, but one supposes some could be in for just an adjustment.

Million to one shot, doc!

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

“PUT A PLASTIC STRAW IN HIS PENIS WHILE HE WAS HIGH ON CRYSTAL METH”

Is Jesus asking for a tip?

A chicken in every pot and a pyramid full of grain in every yard.

Vice President Jesus