I see what you’re saying, i guess, but I absolutely love both the movement system and the somewhat opaque systems at play. It feels good that not everything is completely knowable and that sometimes things happen that don’t particularly make sense. One of the witnesses that saw your gunfight coulda been all “Dictata…

Kirk, this is easily the best game review I’ve ever read, but also the best writing of any kind that I’ve read on this website. I enjoyed your creative narrative prose over the the technical trappings of FPS and other “data.”

“Fake shoes!" 

Freaky Portal In The World’s Largest Game, Which Is Famous For Highly Elaborate ARG-Like Updates, Starts Shooting Lightning Randomly And Will Undoubtedly Lead To A Major New Development In The Meta-Story Of, Once Again We Stress, A Game More Popular Than Jesus

Jesus Christ Fahey we’ve got all these new Lays flavors and NOBODY’S TELLIN’ ME ABOUT ‘EM.

Me will say this about Captain Underpants series—later books get into incredibly convoluted time-travel shenanigans... which are most logically-consistent time travel story me have ever read. Underneath Pilkey’s incredibly silly adventures is rock-solid story structure.

Theres so many people I would like to thank for this prestigious honor.....who am I kidding the only person who needs thanking is the King himself!!!!

Actually the greatest transformation is that every time this cynical, 35 year old fires up this game, he feels like a damn kid all over again. Thanks Nintendo.

“The only thing Yoshi can’t do is gobble up enemies, because the Mushroom Kingdom doesn’t have any.”

Track: I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend | Artist: The Ramones | Album: Hey Ho Let’s Go Anthology Disc 1

Track: Party Hard | Artist: Andrew W.K. | Album: I Get Wet

So then there’s the possiblity that this weapon could result in players becoming entrenched in positions for extended periods of time with neither side able to cross a dangerous no-mans-land?

Track: Live And Let Die | Artist: Guns N’ Roses | Album: Use Your Illusion I

Track: Let Forever Be | Artist: The Chemical Brothers | Album: Surrender

I found a better way to make money

Twenty some-odd years later and I still remember where the hidden rooms that you missed are located.

Well, HIMYM reruns was pretty much what I watch on netflix now that all the other shows I obsessively watch over and over are gone. Might be time to cancel the ol’ netflix account