What’s worse? “Hey Insurance Company, is this covered?” You either get “I don’t know, we can’t guarantee” or “yes” and then after it’s not covered, “we don’t cover that the way your doctor coded it.”

me: How much will this cost?

I don’t understand why auto mechanics aren’t tipped

Some may argue that one’s ability/willingness to jump through hoops is part of becoming a functional adult. 

Why do you think Netflix has had collaborations with the SETI Institute? It's not interest in science, it's about finding a new subscriber base off planet.

Like how if Netflix does not have 11 billion subscribers by Q4 they are considered failures. No matter we have 8 billion on the planet. 

It’s hilarious how much of Fox News is just telling old white dipshits what to be mad/scared about.

“We’re at a point in society where bears gotta have pants or somebody’s getting triggered?”

It’s almost as if Republicans have no real platform or policies to pursue save for manufacturing outrage. 

An immersion blender doesn’t get it quite as smooth and it can fuck up the finish on enameled dutch ovens.

”Ancient alien theories only work if you think indigenous people couldn’t have built impressive things”

Yes. It’s charitable to pretend that I only value coworkers/bosses/subordinates for their work output or what they do for me at work. But the fact is, if you leave multiple glaring grammar or spelling errors in your emails constantly while on the job, it makes me assume you’re a moron overall. (Or at least careless…

Learn how to read and write properly. It’s surprising how terrible the written communication skills of several pretty important people at my work are.

IMO, the number one thing to increase your credibility is to admit you don’t know something when you don’t know something. However, follow that up with “...but I will find out for you” and then follow through with that.

Bread is so often a non-essential part of the sandwiches I eat. 

Yay! Kindred spirit! Bubbie’s Pickles + Kerrygold Savory Sliced Cheddar + Whole Wheat Bread = Happiness. A lovely finish is a cold, crisp apple for dessert.

The Farmers Almanac? Lifehacker has only ever been what you could loosely call journalism but this is like “batboy,” level nonsense.

Personally I leave all my important predictions to what the bones say or, when in doubt, bird entrails.  

I prefer to use a large shadow-averse rodent to make meteorological predictions.