There’s an easy middle solution here. Bernie runs, but quickly brings on a Vice President who shares his principles and devotion while being considerably younger. He makes it clear that they are a team, and if he becomes too ill to stay in office he will resign and let him/her succeed to carry on.

Substitute “nanobubbles” & “Recovery Water” with “prayer” & “god” and then go open a beer and think about life for awhile.

On the bright side, if/when Russell Wilson ever gets a concussion (or some other significant injury), it’s now okay to joke about it.

At least he’s not trying to convince us that drinking Recovery Water can get you laid