Is Poop still something you might put out?

Dear Certain White People (you know who you are),

I wish someone would make a really butch sounding IUD. I would 100% get an IUD that was called something like "ThunderGuts" and came with one of those Detroit type "this is America, we don't worry about being fancy, we just get the damn job done" commercials.

They do (I think), apparently the groom neglected to explicitly ask that he stand up at the wedding. Also, all of the communication was over FB group messaging, so.

She probably "did" (I recognize this is a show, not real life) what a lot of us did/do, charge that shit to a credit card because it's a helluva lot cheaper than a baby.

His blog is a mix of the usual conservative talking points — restrain the federal government, the Common Core is a Communist plot — and some very nice things about his family. He's also very, very anti-abortion, so much so that he tried to get a bill passed that last year that would have essentially banned the…

"So it's gonna be forever,

"Sexual predators will take advantage of this to watch women shower, because that is what I would do. Also, I'm a terrible human being." -Florida Republican State Rep. Frank Artiles

But that's the way an effective justice system works. Everyone, no matter how horrible they are, deserves representation and a fair trial.

"Most of the conference was 100 percent in favor of the bill..."

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

Wait, seriously? I don't have anything against sororities. I didn't go to a school with a big Greek life and wouldn't have joined anyway, so all this is news to me. But really, this is just silly. It's 2015, if college organizations can't encourage equality between genders, where are kids going to learn it.

If the company can't afford a $10 tip on pizza, they aren't giving out raises or bonuses.

I have to say, it's shitty that the Oregon players are receiving more punishment than the rapist in this situation.

Whoever chose the header image: I both love and hate you in equal measure.

Yup.

Well this is an awkward time for me...

If you limit the title to the first four words (minus the apostrophe s), it makes for very good life advice.

All the way to the motherfuckin' top.

Beyond local elections, there are often no viable third party candidates on the ballot either. And I'll probably always vote democrat over Hitler. Sorry.