Yup. If the website you read has links about how to cure cancer with baking soda, and how showing pictures of Hitler to a glass of water makes it into ‘sad water’ that freezes into ugly crystalline patterns instead of pretty snowflake patterns, then it doesn’t count as ‘doing research.’

Plus diseases only happen to poor people and foreigners, as we all know. See, us rich folks aren’t dirty like those... other people are.

I vote that everybody in this class gets spoken to by an autistic guest lecturer, preferably someone from ASAN, about how if you think having an autistic child would be an unbearable burden, then you’re an asshole and you should never, ever have children. Also, I like your ‘pictures of kids with measles’ idea, but I…

This. Instead of requiring a mandatory science class in order to get an exemption, they should really just refuse exemptions for any reason other than legitimate medical necessity. And take to revoking medical licenses and bringing criminal charges against the crop of inexplicably anti-science doctors who would appear…

If you think that shistorm is bad, look up ‘truscum’ or ‘otherkin’ or ‘antis’ some time. There is a maelstrom of insanity on tumblr, and it doesn’t have an end.

Well seeing as Autism Speaks is a hate group known to regularly advocate in favor of genocide, this really seems like a good match.

Did you google “creepiest father daughter purity pictures ever,” or like pick and choose the very worst ones you could find, or are they all like this? Asking because while I’m perfectly happy googling novelty sex toys or new sex acts with stupid sounding names whenever such a thing comes up in my online reading, I…

Honestly, what a great way to look at it. “If you’re so into virginity, than YOU be the virgin.”

Yup. The problem is that people think ‘the circle of life’ is all cute and fuzzy, and at the end the evil animals die meaningfully ironic deaths off-screen and the good animals have a happy ending, and nobody eats anyone else. No friends, Lion King lied to us all. The circle of life is gross and horrifying.

Nah, they can believe whatever stupid shit they want to, but there’s a line you don’t ever fucking cross, and force-feeding your child onion and jalapeño paste while they’re dying from a very, very treatable disease crosses it.

Right? I just wanna.... feed them some botulism, or rub a funny-colored tree frog all over them or some shit, while screaming “THAT IS A FUCKING TOXIN YOU NINCOMPOOP. LET’S SEE YOUR DAMN BONE BROTH-CLEANSE SAVE YOU NOW.” But that’s frowned upon by society, so me, my common sense, and my firm grasp on reality just stew…

Well you see, the SO-CALLED “’”’PRESIDENT’”’” OBUMMER was going to ban all the guns, but then these HEROIC PATRIOTS found out the REAL TRUTH, and told everybody, thus FOILING OBUMMER’S EVIL ISLAMOFASCIST COMMUNIST ANTI-WHITE PLAN, because 9-11 truthers are THE MOST HEROIC HEROES SINCE GEORGE WASHINGTON HIMSELF MARCHED…

Yup. Here we find the real solution for mental illness: “Don’t ever talk to anyone about it. Be alone in your deep, secret shame. You’re probably making it up anyway, you needy, weak millennial. Have you tried not being depressed? Maybe your anxiety disorder would go away if you weren’t such a fucking whiner.”

Maybe the old dude smokes half a pound per day. Don’t judge.

But if popup ads that interrupt what you’re doing and fuck up your mobile browser are bad, and ads that make obnoxious noise while you’re trying to listen to some fucking music thank you very much are bad, that must mean that ads that pop up and play shitty music are.... good!?

“My excuse? Pizza and beer are delicious, working out sucks, and I like myself enough to not engage in constant self-punishment for the approval of others. It’s a pretty fucking great excuse. What’s your excuse for being a judgemental cock?”

I always felt bad for Swiper. I mean, swiping is, like, his thing. He’s named after the one and only thing he ever does. His entire identity is built around swiping, and Dora only ever tries to take that away from him. I mean, if every time Dora tried to go do her thing, someone yelled “DORA NO EXPLORING!” at her,…

So much.

I’ve begun to cringe every time I hear the word ‘edgy’, like it’s ‘moist’ or something. I guess I’ll buy that there was a time when ‘edgy’ was legitimately cool or some shit, but these days all that comes to mind is Daniel Tosh making tacky rape jokes (because hey, uncomfortable and funny are pretty much the same…

I don’t know- maybe the clear choice between ‘relationship with a woman who you have to treat as a human being’ or ‘ownership of a creepy sexbot who you don’t have to treat as a human being’ will make the far-too-common option of ‘relationship with a woman who you treat like a piece of property’ less appealing to all…